Poser Preachers

Heard an old mentor on the radio this morning. He was pushing the concept of "Big Godders vs. Little Godders." He suggested that a "Big God" intervenes in life on your behalf and a "Little God" is one you are always in trouble with.

Sounds nice doesn't it? Sounds like people with problems have those problems because they don't have enough faith. I have one problem with it...

It's bullshit.

God does not act only on your faith. God is not a puppet. A BIG GOD does what He chooses when He chooses and THAT is why those of us who truely know Him are always having trouble with Him.

So many naive Christians talk about God's power and fear of God, but they do not fear Him. They don't even know what it is to fear Him. They keep Him at a cheery arms-length, and never get close enough to Him to see His face - that frightening, "set like flint" face that is clearly not human.

What most pastors would call "Little Godders" are actually just little people. We've seen some of His size and realize that we, ourselves, are not so big and powerful as we once thought.

The drop off

I've gained a bonus to my diplomacy roll through association with a mentor. Normally, I wouldn't even try, but a few days ago, I managed the impossible.

I stood on the battlefield, nearly equally matched with a vile enemy. With everything to lose, I lowered my weapon and made him smile.

Who knew I had the power to do that? Winning a battle with charm really does work. I've only tried it in pretend contests, not in real life and death combat.

Femininity has its strong points.

A Mutated Strain of Patriotism

I've been griping about the disease of patriotism that grips many of "my fellow 'mercins" for months now. I've seen so many of my friends and family members blinded by a loyalty to country that seems almost religious...

...and now I have it.

Watching the O'Reilly Factor the other night (don't jump to any conclusions, I can't stand Bill O'Reilly), something he sniped got through to me. He said that the attitude that America is the bad guy in Iraq is just wrong. He reminded me that the war against terror is a necessity (whether we have gone about it correctly or not), and he had a strong argument for our good intentions.

I notice, over the past few days since Ronald Reagan's death, a new optimistic patriotism in our country. Is this just me? Watching the new terrorist activity from the insurgency that is being committed against Iraqis, I'm wondering who to believe. Just a short time ago the insurgency WAS Iraq.

Thugs and gangsters are thugs and gangsters, no matter what they stand for, who they claim to represent or what you call them. We are not at war with a country. That is confusing. But whether or not we have begun this correctly, I feel suddenly certain that, once again, this country will lead us into a better future.

Last night

Faeron held my hand everywhere she went - whether it was from the living to the kitchen or from the chair to the table - she wanted to know I was there at all times.

I've never known love like this. I can't imagine life without it, though. I've become desperate for this co-dependancy called "motherhood." If two people in love behaved like this, I would think they were unhealthy...

...and yet I am as in love with this One Year Old as I have ever been in my life.

Yes, I changed it... again.

I'm playing with my blog format because it's mine and I can - WHAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Let's see, polkie dots or light house, polkie dots or light house, polkie dots or light house...

I may switch templates often until I finish creating my own personalized, super-duper, handy-dandy, Conan-centric, way-too-cool, representative of all things science and many things philosophy, look at me I'm so smart, easy to follow, oh so professional looking, with lots of nice pictures template.

[Send pictures and suggestions to me care of me]

Patience

I've been thinking about that whole "patience is a virtue" thing. I think I get it.

This has to be experienced, you cannot just sit and think about the meaning of something being a virtue (which actually means excellence in standard of morality).

Either you are patient or you are not. To be patient with someone or something that is mildly bothersome is not difficult. It is also not really patience, as it has not been tested for its standard of excellence. Let's say for argument's sake that this is only forbearance or leniency.

Imagine the worst you could stand from another human being. Next imagine that you have no feeling for this human being, or obligation towards him/her. And without reason or prompting you allow that worst you could stand from him/her everyday... for years.

Your only justification being that this human being was in need, and you were striving towards that standard of excellence.

Is Patience a victim or a virtue?

Not sure why

...those links are doubling up. I guess either I REALLY want you to check out those sites, or I REALLY need help with my HTML.

Ramblings at the end of the weekend

Monday is almost over, so I have to face it. The weekend is gone. Another two and a half day moment in pseudo-free time is gone. I've spent the day working my tail off for a job that I love, but I do miss my baby.

On Saturday I got some constructive criticism. A trusted friend told me that I am too introspective and that is affecting my relationships. I must admit that I've spent the past 24 hours being very introspective about that. There may be no hope for me, guys.

To that friend that tried to call this weekend - thanks for being so understanding. Seems I only ever tell you my problems. Now that I'm trying to listen more, we never seem to talk. Miss your brain.

Dread Mangos: when's the next trip - at least in our heads? Seems like that long weekend together was ages ago. Faeron says to tell you she's "still talking about the wall, GUYS!"

Faeron at the circus

Took Faeron to the circus this weekend... well, her Aunt Marsha took us to the circus, I should say. Anyway, it was wonderful. She thought the applause was for her. She stood up on her chair, whirled around, and shouted "TA DA!" each time the audience clapped.

For the most part, she screamed and pointed throughout the show. It was a wonderful performance. And the circus wasn't bad either.

Thanks Marsha.