How do you choose your friends?

How do you choose your friends?

No.

Really.

We've seen it a million times - the cliche'd "how do you choose your friends" quiz. Normally, I give a complex, good for me, intelligent, funny type answer. But in the spirit of being honest and introspective (Britt just cringed), I would say that judging by how I spend my time, I seem to value those friends who do not make waves with me, who can relate to me, who I feel "at home" with. I like my friends to be an escape.

When an opportunity comes up to spend time with one of those intense, accountable, high-maintenance friends that I have collected, I often don't have time unless it's been a long while since I've seen them. On the rare occassions that I do have the obligation to get together with the problematic, demanding, heavy on the spirit friend, I am always, ALWAYS surprised.

In just one hour with a friend like this, my life is changed. Over coffee or lunch, a talk about intense subjects I would rather not face with someone who loves me enough to bring them up manages to undo all the damage I've done to myself during my time away from reality.

Why I take these friends for granted, at the risk of stunting my character growth, I'll never know.

We spend so much time with "buddies" and wonder why we feel lonely and unloved. There are people out there who love unconditionally and who will tell us the truth when the truth hurts. They may not have the social skills required in our friendship standards, but that may be an indication that we need to rethink the policy.

Some friends don't relate to me. Some don't know how to make me comfortable. Thank God for them.