For your amuzement: A freak out

Face to face with my mortality yet again? What is it with me and near death? What am I supposed to learn that I am not learning, here?

... and will it eventually kill me?

I thought I was well. I keep hoping for hope - hoping for normal - hoping for peace for a season. But each season has it's natural disaster. Every spring has tornados. Every summer has fires. Every fall has hurricanes. Every winter has 100 year storms. Where is the season between the seasons? Where is resting and playing? Where is planning.... where is achieving?

And where will my little girl go without a mommy?

I have to learn it this time. I have to put a stop to these tests of character that I never pass somehow.

What? What?!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!!